misandrist: one who hates men.
philander: a man who carries on
many love affairs, with a frivolous
attitude, with woman he doesn’t
intend to marry.
The Unfortunate Tale of Miss Ann Drist
There once was a girl named Ann Drist.
She’d secretly never been kissed.
She spent all her days
in a fanciful haze,
working away IN THE LIBR’Y!
Shh!
There once was a man named Phil Lander,
He wasn’t well known for his candor.
He spent all his days
Working his debonair ways
To capture Miss Drist FROM THE LIBR’Y!
Shh!
Phil Lander tried ev-er-ree day
To tempt and sweep her away.
But she never was,
And this is because
She was too busy to flirt IN THE LIBR’Y!
Shh!
Now…
Miss Drist was no fool,
She knew that old rule
Where men only want what they can’t.
She simply say’d “Nay”
And shoo’d him away
And res’lutely remaind at “I shan’t.”
This made Phil quite mad
He knew he’d been had
By a girl who WORKED IN THE LIBR’Y?!
Shh!
Next he grew bolder
And grabbed her by t‘shoulder
And forced his advances upon her!
Shocked and dismay’d
(and a little afraid,)
She snatched up her book
And like a right hook,
Bashed his face in, IN THE LIBR’Y!
Oh!-
Yes.
With Revenge in his heart
And his face one big smart,
He crept all the way
To drown out his sorrow
And wait for tomorrow
To seek ‘venge p’on her, IN THE LIBR’Y!
Shh!
Poor Miss Drist knew,
But what could she do?!
With no help or aid,
She was utterly dismayed
As she made her way home from the libr’y.
Ohh my.
But at this same time,
Phil, out of his mind,
Came swaggering up right beside her.
A scream tore through her throat,
As he ripped off his coat
And he wrapped up the thing all around her.
She struggled and tried
But on this, he relied,
She could not free herself up from Phil Lander.
He kissed her again
And this time there were men
Who witnessed the shocking behavior.
The goons just all laughed
And allowed it to pass
Not one of them offered to save her.
They hollered and cheered
And one even jeered,
“Well, if it isn’t that shrew, ol’MISS LIBR’Y!”
Shh!
They cried!
As Phil swelled with great pride,
He finally thought he had won.
But in this weak state,
Ann saw her escape,
And the coat came all undone.
VILLAINS!
She screamed,
She was undone at the seems
And she RAN!
Ran!
ran.
Soon the whole town knew
The gossip stuck to her like glue
And the hate she felt steadily grew…
True to her name,
Her eyes flickered like flame
And the hate deep inside,
Found nowhere to hide.
So she lured all those men
(They were never seen again)
And she KILLED them right there,
IN THE LIBR’Y!
Shh!
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